Happy Henry Day!

"WHAT am I going to do with a BOY?!"

My first words upon meeting oxygen-breathing Henry for the first time were not the most eloquent perhaps, but I have found myself thinking them, "WHAT am I going to do with this boy?!" many times since that day three years ago.

His name means "ruler of the house" and my thirty pound powerhouse doesn't realize that a preschooler is not meant to rule the house. So, my job for the time being is to help him learn patience. And obedience. And teach him kindness and love and faith. And that we are little and God is big. Yet to Henry, everyone else is little and he is big. So we have some distance to go.

Three years ago today, I drove myself to the hospital (at my insistence - it didn't make sense to me to make Len and Ruby get up in the night so that they could sit somewhere and wait) and checked in, eager to meet face-to-face the lively baby growing inside me. After 12 hours or so of labor, out he screamed. Henry has had opinions from the beginning. (After spending some time with Ruby that morning, Len did come to the hospital...I don't want anyone thinking he wasn't attentive. But let's face it...there isn't much for the man to do in the birthing process.)

Hard as it is to believe that the little ruddy body laying on my chest that night has grown into a strong, tall young boy, he was parading his spunk all day today. Playing with new friends here, running along the surf with his friend Gabriel on the beach at lunch, hunting sand crabs and dodging the water, eating nachos and cake for dinner, ordering each bite. Maybe it's the heat, or the stress of moving, but he has been napping more here than he ever did in Indianapolis, and I will confess that his curly hair falling across my legs on the sofa makes my heart melt in 18 directions. Such a little boy, but wanting to rule over all.

Happy Henry Day, and may we enjoy many more together!

THIS is the Rainy Season

In a previous post, I referred to the rainy season as we had experienced it thus far, with short downpours each day. For four days now, however, it has barely stopped raining. So this is what they meant....

One main benefit to the rainy season is that it cools things off. 80 degrees never felt so cool! With a breeze, it's downright nice. The man who works in our house has asked for extra tea and coffee this week because he is cold, and the guard wears an insulated coat at night, with heavy boots. I try not to laugh at them, because I do find it quite funny to be 'cold' when it is still 80 degrees.

That said, I do miss the sunshine. Among the many benefits to the tropical heat here are that you don't have to defrost everything. Food can come out of the freezer for 10-20 minutes and be completely defrosted. On a normal sunny day, it is too hot for mosquitos and most other bugs to be active between dawn and dusk. With the rain, however, they are more active, and our yard is very wet right now and full of fun creatures, including a massive (5 inch) beetle I will post a picture of when I have the opportunity.

Henry and I went creature hunting today, but didn't find too much. I'm told the fun ones come out mostly at night and I haven't wanted to douse myself in bug spray any night this week. Len doesn't find it attractive. :)

Len was almost a casualty of the rain this week. He dropped off a friend and was running through the pedestrian gate (everyone here has two gates in their wall, one for a car and one for people) in the downpour with his head down against the rain, and it turns out the gate is a little short. He cut the top of his head and had a nasty bump, but is thankfully ok. With some antibiotic ointment and calendula, he'll be rescalped in no time.

Another casualty of the rain is the roads. While going to the market yesterday, I made it around a fallen tree near a bridge but had to turn back at a place where the water was very high and few trucks were making it through. Len drove through that place in the truck today and one that was deeper and made it, though. He said the water was up to the doors, although it didn't come in. On Tuesday I took our friend home and drove through one intersection where I actually started to feel seasick; all the road was covered with rushing water going the opposite direction of us, and when I returned through that intersection after dropping her off, part of the road had begun to wash out.

Doesn't seem to phase Africans too much, though. They just keep going on about life. When the tree was across the road, there were locals cutting it up and taking it away...it was cleared very quickly. No waiting for the city trucks to come and do it for them. Of course, I don't know if there are city trucks to come. But I do love the innovative spirits of the Africans I've met.

The rain is starting again. I'm sure we'll miss it when the dry season comes, but until then, I'll covet whatever sunshine God can throw this way.

Toaster Blackout Love

Len is a very helpful guy, and offered to take the kids to buy a refrigerator and a few other things while I organized a bit during our first week. There is a South African store in the city that sells AND delivers new appliances, so he decided to go there for the ease of delivery (otherwise we would have to find and hire someone with a truck to do it, and since we don't speak Swahili very well yet, this would be very difficult).

"The guy will be calling you for directions to our house, " he called after the purchase was made.

"Where do we live?" I asked from inside our house. I really had no idea where I was, other than the northern part of a large African city. Our house is about 100 yards up one of hundreds of unlabeled dirt roads I've seen here, and is surrounded by other similar houses.

"Just give him the main intersection at the roundabout." and we lost connection.

Well, I did know that we live near a roundabout. I didn't know that there are at least three roundabouts in this area of town. The names of the roads snaking from the roundabout were a complete mystery to me, as very few roads have signs or visible labels.

Soon the phone rang again. "LWIEEJHOEIMZOENWEUMDIDSDN?" said the delivery driver in Swahili. Now, I'm sure this gentleman speaks very eloquent Swahili, but I am still working on basic greetings and how to ask for prices three weeks later, and on this fresh-from-the-boat day, I couldn't even think of a proper greeting. It sounded like he was yelling the above phrase at me, and although I knew who he was and what he wanted, the conversation was going badly before I even spoke.

"Yes, asante," I started. You can't go wrong with thank you, right?

"MZURIEEBREE NGDOZEE" (note: these are not actual Swahili words, just what it sounded like he was saying)

"Are you the delivery driver? Do you have a refrigerator?"

End of call. He hung up.

A few minutes later, the phone rang again. Same conversation. Same ending. This happened two more times.

Finally, I found our house family guy, who speaks decent English and great Swahili. Approaching tears, I pushed the phone into his hand and asked him to answer it. I didn't understand anything he said, but about five minutes later a truck pulled in the gate and several men brought in our refrigerator. Thank you, Lord. Asante sana.

Another item Len purchased was a toaster. I am not a toast-loving person, in fact, I don't know that we have ever owned a toaster. Apparently, Len has been longing for one and so we kept it and set it up next to the electric kettle he also bought. A less overwhelmed person might have remembered that water takes forever to boil at sea level. I quickly came to love the kettle.

We were eager to test our neat little plastic appliances plugged neatly into a twin socket, and promptly filled the kettle with water and dropped a slice of bread into the toaster. Water boiled in less than a minute! When I pushed the lever on the toaster, however, the power went out.

Blackouts, we were told, are a common part of living in Dar. They happen frequently and without warning or a schedule. So we accepted that this was simply part of our new arrangement and proceeded to the next task on our list, and the next and the next, not really thinking about the blackout until we returned to a dark home hours later. Headlamps were distributed and I felt very rustic and local. We have no generator yet, and just assumed that everyplace we had been that day had a generator or weren't affected by the outage. Someone had even mentioned a blackout in our area. Anyway, we didn't realize until bedtime that we had just blown a fuse when the toaster started...Len figured this out and re-set the fusebox. He is become quite handy.

The defective toaster was returned to the store later that week. The woman behind the counter said, "It's not broken. I can fix it." and she pulled out a screwdriver and tools and took it apart on the spot, made some quick adjustments, and handed it back to Len. "It will work now."

When the toaster returned home, I was a little disappointed as I had secretly hoped Len would see the light and not get another one. He explained the lady's deft fixing and we plugged it in to give it a spin. Behold, it was healed. And as I turned it over to examine the settings, I noticed two small post-it notes from the counter lady:

"Want u 2b ma friend call me" and a name and phone number. We laughed for a long time.

I love that toaster now for providing us with so many laughs and I kept the post-its in my journal to provide additional laughter when I think of the day. Good medicine for the soul, it is.

Bits and Pieces

April 6, 2010

Here are a few fun bits from our first days here. I hope they make you smile:

Despite our understanding that rainy season was over, it is not. Almost every day since we arrived, there has been a torrential downpour for 10-90 minutes, usually early in the day. The day we went to unpack at our house, the downpour came at the exact moment Len was trying to open our gate with one of 20 or so keys we have for the house. It took him about 10 minutes to get the gate unlocked (keys can be fickle here) and at that moment, the rain stopped. Benefit of torrential downpour: it cools things off a bit. And we needed showers anyway.

The next day, as Len explored our vehicle (which, like the house, has also exceeded our expectations), he opened the back gate-style door and a good-sized (over a foot) lizard scuttled out, jumped over Len's feet (from the truck), and ran into the backyard. We are so not in Kansas anymore.

On another lizard-related note, there are little gecko lizards everywhere, including inside our house. They don't show up inside that often though. The first time we spotted one inside was on the wall of our bedroom after the first few hot, sweaty days here and we were exhausted. After a quick executive meeting, we decided the lizard might eat the other bugs we see from time to time, and left it alone. Live long and prosper, lizard.

School is almost over here for the season, and many expats are coming and going. At a recent garage sale, some children were looking through a box of books and found the biggest spider I've ever seen. It had a hairy brown body and long hairy legs (not a tarantula though). It looked good enough to eat. So I ate it. Just kidding. The kids seemed amazed at it for a few minutes, then moved back to the books. A good reminder that if I've ever wanted to be more tidy and organized, now is the time, so we can discourage such beasts from moving in with us.

Despite these bug stories, our home is not especially 'bugg-y' and for that we are very thankful. Hopefully frequent cleaning and keeping things tidy and closed up will continue this trend.

When we left church the other day (which is held outside in a large banda), there was a man selling a live monkey for tsh 30,000 (about $22). Kind of cute, but no takers. There are dozens of new, unusual events like this that happen daily.

Our friends the Stantons from the UK came over for dinner one night that first week, and the eating utensils we thought were waiting here for us are nowhere to be found. So we ate using random cooking utensils. One of us used a silicone spatula, someone else used a salad server, someone had tongs...it was quite fun and really fit in with all of the fun newness of the place. Good times.

My first really frustrating moment took place that same night, when I was baking some brownies and realized that the teachers who told me the metric system is not useful and we don't need to learn it were all liars and fools. To preheat the oven to 350 degrees, something I did almost daily and without thought in the US, I had to dig out my cookbook with the formula for converting degrees F to degrees C. It is overwhelming at times to not know how to do anything. But we are laughing a lot, learning a lot, and moving forward each day. :)

Smells Like Africa Out There

Monday April 5, 2010



Slept well in our friends' guest room - they do hospitality very, very well. Woke up excited to get going but quickly realized we're in Africa, where nothing happens in a hurry. As a goat ran by my window I heard Ruby's little voice beside me, "It smells a little bit like Africa out there." And it is a hot smell, although not stinky most of the time.



Sitting on the porch as it rained an hour later, we watched hundreds of termites fky up out of the earth, creating a carnival effect as birds came en masse to dive for them. Birdwatching that rivals the best Yellowwood Forest bird day. Ruby observed the 'little beaches' that formed spontaneously as torrential rain saturated the drive and lawn for about an hour before stopping as though on a timer. The sun came out over the Indian Ocean (in view of our friends' porch) and began its baking for the day.

Just before lunch we did visit our new house. It greatly exceeded our expectations. Not large, but plenty of room for us, and even a space for a playroom. Our landlord's attention to western detail is notable with crown moulding and nicer light fixtures, and the floorplan is open. All of these things help in little ways with lessening the culture shock. If it had a second floor, I think we could see the ocean as we are less than a mile from it! But one floor is good as it makes the children feel comfortable and close. Tropical flowers and foilage line the house and there is a mini-jungle of new insects, lizards, bats, birds, spiders and frogs living among it. There are a few banana plants (trees?) and much sunshine. We plan to return tomorrow to unpack.

Our friend brought lunch by and took us to the local duka (storefront) and vegetable duka (fresh produce stand). Ruby was delighted and dismayed by the chickens and peepeeps running underfoot as she helped select fruit for morning. The local bakery is also a short tuktuk (three-wheeled scooter with a backseat and roof) ride away. I'll be sure to include photos as I can.

Friends were having an Easter egg hunt at their house for their house family and their children, and ours joined in. What fun! The African children had never had an egg hunt, and one of the ladies translated instructions for them. They seemed confused by the concept until they started opening the eggs and finding little treasures inside. The uncharted wonder on their faces was priceless.

Dinner was with friends at an oceanside restaurant with delicious fresh seafood. The peninsula alight in the distance as the sun set behind us was a wonderful end to our day of new beginnings.

To The Skies!

April 4, 2010

The last four days either solidified or shattered our relationship with the friends whose guest house we've been borrowing. Despite living in their backyard for the last eight months, we saw them more in the 72 hours preceeding our departure than in the rest of it combined. Without their help, and the help of so many others, we could not have left on time. Clearing out a life takes more work than I had budgeted, so thank you, beloved friends!

Saturday, I took the kids to the Children's Museum one last time before heading to the airport. The emotional dimension of these last weeks is hard to describe; add that to getting three hours of sleep in the last two nights and you understand why I started crying when we walked down the ramp and through the lobby one last time before leaving. Fortunately, I got it under control before security stopped us. This place has been a blessing to us in so many ways; as a home for playdates, a weekly destination, special 'firsts' like stage musicals. I hope there are places in Africa where their faces will reflect joy and awe like they do when riding the carousel at the museum. One more time in the pretend ice cream shoppe, one more turn at the ball machine in Scienceworks, one more walk through the hall of mirrors and Barbie. Then it was time to go home to pick up Len and get to the airport.

There were nine adults at the airport to help us and we needed every hand. Unloading the bags, playing with the kids, watching the cars, helping with the desk and checking in took quite a bit of time and we were thankful for the help. It was like God parted the sea for us the entire way: as we approached the desk and security checkpoint, there were no lines. When we walked out, there were long lines. And this was not due to our sluggishness! Ruby kept us moving through the security area; she has the entire process down to an art. Ruby is the person you want to be behind in the security line. She knows what to do, and she will set you straight if you aren't moving fast enough or forget to put something in a bin.

Harry and Izzy's is a restaurant just past the checkpoint at the Indianapolis Airport; we had time to stop there for a good meal and wine before heading to the gate. St. Elmo's shrimp cocktail was a nice way to say goodbye to Indy.

The trip really couldn't have gone better. We flew Indy to Detroit to Amsterdam to Dar, and the transatlantic and longer Amsterdam to Dar flights even had enough empty seats to spread out and rest a little. The kids love to fly and were champs. One rough point for me was on the approach to Amsterdam when the steward said, 'For those of you returning to the United States...' and I realized we weren't, at least not for a while. But we had agreed to not get emotional in front of the kids, and our unplanned strategy of not sleeping was really working for us on that front; once you deaden enough brain cells from sleep deprivation, it is easy to move your family to the other side of the world without thinking too much about it. Or maybe we just can't handle thinking about it at this point.

A shout -out here to KLM Dutch Royal Airlines...they do a wonderful job with children, special meals and overall service. Everytime I thought about asking for something, the steward was there holding it before I said anything. Now that I think about it, it was almost creepy how intuitive they were. But it made for a very nice flight.

We landed in Dar a few minutes ahead of schedule and barely broke stride through customs. I think they were all tired. We made it out of the airport so quickly that our ride was not there yet! Len pulled out his US cell phone to call him and as he turned it on, the battery died. So there were a few anxious moments of sitting on the curb with our bags, painfully foreign. Thankfully, it was literally only seconds until we heard our friend's banter on his phone as he got out of his car - he had arrived just on time! Ruby and Henry fell asleep on me in the back seat of his truck as we drove to their house for the night. It was just before midnight when we settled into bed, eager to meet our new home in the morning.

Thanks for all the Birthday wishes for sweet Ruby, who spent her entire fifth birthday on airplanes and in airports. Fortunately, she doesn't want to turn five yet, so we told her to let us know when she's ready and we will celebrate then. And if you see her, don't bring it up. Mentioning her birthday has brought anxious shouts of, "I don't WANT to be FIVE! I want to stay FOUR until I'm FOURTEEN!"

Very well, child.