In the Meantime....

As eventful a month as it's been healthwise, life has mostly gone on as usual. Power cuts continue almost daily (as I write this we are four hours into what I hope will be a shortish cut), the kids are finishing up the school year, we continue to prepare to homeschool, and ministry opportunities abound everywhere.

Also of note this month, Ruby's best pal Happiness celebrated her birthday at Dar's theme park, Fantasy Land. This is extremely nice for Dar; there are five inflatable games, two trampolines, a small electric train and a place for parents to sit. It has become party central for the Kindergarten crowd, and the girls had a great time together celebrating this delightful child.

Ruby also took part in her first protest. We are so proud!

That's NO RAIN. She was assigned the role of Ahab in the Kindergarten assembly and shouted out her lines like a true Baal-worshipper. Fortunately, she realizes she is not a Baal-worshipper.

(A note on the protesting front: Len did ask me to back off on telling the kids about some of the things I'm passionate about, after Ruby lectured him that cow milk is for cows, not people, as he ate his milk-drenched cereal one morning. Thank goodness she didn't bring up genetic modification!)

This was one of the more involved assemblies. We were proud of our girl's hard work!

Yesterday, the kids got a lesson in waste management when the sewage removal guys came to clean out our waste wells in the back. They were pretty interested to learn what happens when we flush the toilet.

Don't look too closely, kids!

The men with the pump truck were pleased to be sewer heroes for a day. You can almost hear Chariots of Fire in the background.

We also found one of these huge beetles that had died in a drain, and Henry has been checking its demise several times a day. Pretty interesting forensic stuff going on there. It is about five inches long.

One morning we found a baby bird on the ground; I went into the house to get a box for it but when I came out, another bird was eating it. Circle of life, kids, circle of life. It keeps going on, and this month has been a good reminder to each of us just how small we are in God's big picture.

Milestone-Henry!

The Secret to Happiness - New Mercies

(Disclaimer: the author does not claim to have mastered the secrets to happiness conveyed in this or any other blog post; she only invites you to join her in the pursuit)

For some of you who have known me in other phases of my life, you might be surprised to learn that I am striving to find happiness. Yes, I was one of those people (and still can be) who thrives on being miserable, and letting everyone know about it. "I'm so busy." "I'm so tired." "I just can't get ahead." "Why is this happening to me?" Whether you call it a "Case of the Mondays" or "I'm Too Busy-itis" or something else, it's just not pleasant to be around.

One day, I decided I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being miserable. I saw the foolishness in thinking that being so busy I made me look more important to others. No, I only looked out of control of my life. It was ridiculous to actively engage in more activities than I enjoyed and then complain about it.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." -Lamentations 3:22

My mindset of thinking I could coach God by giving him ideas on how not to mess everything up seems ridiculous looking back. Yet how often do I flirt with that line? HIS compassions never fail. My compassions are only occasionally compassionate.

And happiness, well, that's mostly a choice. It comes and goes, but we have a lot of control over that. I was always asking God for help, but not even taking what was offered. Didn't get a lot of listening in; too much to say. I wore my exhaustion like a medal, proud to be busy, overworked, underappreciated and tired. All. The. Time.

Here is the first thing, maybe the most important thing I've learned about being happy: It's right in front of me every day. And it is in front of you every day, too. God has promised us new mercies each day. They are yours and mine. If I don't trip over them on the way to the kitchen in the morning, I'm going to go looking for them. They're mine! I want them. Like treasures found on the frequent nature walks I take with my children, sometimes you have to keep moving and actively looking to find the good stuff. The approach of wanting all life's goodness to plop in our laps with no effort on our part will result in a lot of disappointment.

If we take the additional step of seeing God's mercies as God's faithfulness, we see that providing mercies anew each day isn't something God does, it's who God IS. He is faithful every day, and most of the time, when things aren't going well for me, I have to stop and consider that my will and God's will might not be lined up, and one of us is going to have to change our ways.

Does this mean life will be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows every day if God is doing his job? No. It means we need to trust God's faithfulness in every circumstance; our position is always to be one of humility in the face of our God who has eternity under control.

Back to new mercies - receiving them isn't enough. I can't say, "Good job showing up, God" and be done with the day. I have to receive those mercies. Own them. Make them part of my life each day, all day long.

"I will sing of the LORD'S great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations."  -Psalm 89:1

God gave me the Book of Faith project out of a conviction to make this happen in our family and in our church and wherever else people will do it. We must be intentional about passing on our real-life stories of God's goodness to our children and their children. In doing so, we are passing on a key to happiness and joy in their own lives as they grow to recognize God's mercy themselves. It's right in front of us; we only must practice seeing.

Hilarious and Must Be Shared

Henry's screaming must have drowned out the security alarm that went off a couple of hours ago. We have a private security company that provides a guard, panic buttons in and around the house, and a seriously shrill siren that is conveniently attached right outside the kids' room.

With Len out of town, bath time is my task, and I took advantage of the kids being wet in the bath (think of a small shower stall with a 5-centimeter lip) and pulled the three-day-old band-aid off of Henry's leg. A band-aid that was not required in the first place. Anyway, it was soggy and starting to fall off (memo to Johnson & Johnson: BACK OFF on the band-aid adhesive!). So I removed it.

Henry apparently thought I had removed his big toe, and began screaming and holding his foot. This continued throughout the bath time.

As I was marching my sweet children (with Henry still howling) back through the house to their room (Len, if you're reading this, Ruby wanted to have a bath in their old bathroom), I noticed several men standing in my back yard dressed in black. I shooed the kids into their room and closed the door, not wanting them to see their mom go Sydney Bristow on some poor intruders.

Fortunately for me and them, they were from the security company. Apparently, the guard, who is filling in for our regular guard, was feeling ill and wanted to go home. So he pushed the panic button, which brought a swarm of guards armed with all kinds of fun toys. And they are not allowed to leave until they speak with the house's tenant. Finding the doors locked and hearing screaming and wailing from inside, they weren't sure what to do.

So, they called Len. In Malawi. Which prompted him to call and text me several times to see if we were all dead. After I assured the security guys we were ok, I was happy to call Len and report to him that our marriage will not end on our anniversary this year.

The power is out tonight, but I'm thankful for our inverter keeping the lights and fans on. I've seen three new varieties of creepy crawlies in our house tonight, and the mosquitoes are as grumpy as Henry. Going to call it a (very funny) day!

Fourteen Years - For Better or For Worse

May 1997

So there we were, getting ready to walk down the aisle and be married in front of 300 of our closest friends and family. We knew that we were destined for eternal happiness, with laughter and dancing around every corner. Marital bliss...happily ever after.

Whatever.

Don't get me wrong, we have had and continue to have enormous amounts of fun and laughter, silliness, some dancing and even bliss. Happiness comes and goes, but we are learning the secret of constant joy, which is not dependent on circumstances.

Above left, at the first church we served together in 1997; Len was appointed to Fairview when he was 18. Fairview was just down the road from Grandview, which had a grand view of the Ohio River. Fairview overlooked acres of corn and beans.

Above right, ready for a night on the town in 2009.

Marriage, we have found, is a lot of hard work woven into the bliss and rose petals. We have learned are learning to communicate wisely - not too much and not too little, being aware of a dozen factors that determine if it's a good time to talk about the good or bad things we have to discuss.

We've learned that we are very different people. Okay, we knew that going into this union. Although back in that first year, it was exciting to be around someone so different. He is so organized and together! She is so fun-loving and spontaneous! He is such a hard worker! She is such a free spirit! These are all good things, but in those early years of marriage, we had to learn how to appreciate each others' differences and not apply labels of good, bad, etc. The variety of strengths in our marriage is staggering, and when we support each other in our strengths, we can really thrive as individuals and as a family. When we pick each other apart for our weaknesses (we have a wide breadth of those as well!), misery abounds.

Christmas 2007, after adding two to our little love nest

But what we've learned through all of our ups and downs is this: we are in it together. For better or for worse, right? There is no plan B. We are committed to doing life together no matter what the day holds. And what we've found surprising is how much control we have over what each day holds. We can choose to look for God's mercies new each day, or we can complain about what that goes wrong. Every day brings both. We choose mercies. But it takes practice, and we're still learning every day!

2011 in Tanzania. Photo by Kevin French

And since we're in it together, we may as well have a good time, right? I have seen couples who are miserable together, mainly because they choose misery over joy every day. I want to grow old with smile lines at the corners of my eyes and lips. Now that the lines have appeared, it's a good time to really train them to point the right direction. Enjoying doing life together is good for us AND our children. It's a lovely road!

Henry's Happy Birthday Week

Birthdays in our home are celebrated by the week, with one small gift per day and many Happy Birthdays and candles and singing throughout the week.

Henry's actual birthday this year fell on a Saturday that I had scheduled a dinner party, and the dear friends who filled our house saw a not-quite-ready-for-birthday Henry, so their kids were more than happy to blow out the candles. Lots of love in the house!

We had three additional celebrations over the next six days; I took the lazy mom's approach to partying and let Henry's natural settings be the parties. There was preschool on Monday:

The 'O' around his eye is a mystery to me. He walked around much of the week with his hands around his eyes like goggles, and then abruptly stopped. The cake is recycled from Saturday's dinner party; it didn't make a bit of difference.

Two other mini-parties happened spontaneously when we had a spontaneous playdate with two friends, whose parents just received approval to adopt their third child, and had to go identify the child at a distant orphanage. We were honored to help them, and the kids were wonderfully funny as they used every cushion in our living room to make forts, crash mats, slides and jumping castles. It's days like these I am sure we'll never own a video game console. Although I reserve the right to buy several on the days that aren't so smooth.

Auntie Sarah, my dear friend and Henry's headmistress at his school, joined us one afternoon when Ruby had a friend over, and we enjoyed a lot of time reading on the sofa and playing games. Ah, simplicity!

Happy four years to my sweet boy! This is the first year we have given them separate celebrations, since Ruby's anniversary is less than a month before Henry's, and we were pleased with the outcome. Len and I thank God daily for letting us parent these two amazing children!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Work Len Goes

"WATCH OUT FOR THE COW!"

Rarely were those words shouted while driving in Indianapolis. Anytime. Actually, never. We lived in a nice, safe subdivision where animals besides dogs, cats and fish were banned. Len's commute then included a few short drives and turns to I-65 and then a straight shot to the center of the city and his office, whose wall of windows overlooked the state Capitol and the White River as it wound serenely through the gardens and Zoo.

Once in a while, the kids and I would take the minivan to get Chick-Fil-A and drive downtown to meet Daddy in his office. Pay no attention to the drool dripping off my chin. What fun, deliciously seasoned times these were! With waffle fries! And milkshakes! Slobber!

We miss all of his fun co-workers at ONB, riding in the tall elevators, watching the workers build the new hotel seen in this photo, and watching Len try to keep greasy little fingerprints off of his nice office table. 

This is Len's current workspace. His first purchase for work was this filing cabinet. If you know Len well, you may have just laughed out loud. On the right, you can see a bit of curtain. The YL director's goat was housed out there until its constant bleating led to it being banished to the front yard. There is a woman who cleans the lizard and rat droppings out of the office once or twice a week, and one wall has three huge whiteboard panels on it. These are things that make Len happy.

Do not feel sorry for us. This is what we get to drive by every day on the way to Len's work:



Yes, that's the Indian Ocean, and we see this every time we drive to or from Len's office, which located in the garage behind the Young Life director's house. Right across the road from the beach. And it looks like this pretty much every day, unless it's cloudy, and then the ocean looks silver, like a mirror.

The trips to eat lunch with Daddy have been replaced by trips to spin in Daddy's office chair. It's not Herman Miller, but it still has a nice rotation, and the kids love to take turns in it. There are also several chickens, cats, tortoises and a guinea fowl outside to play with if they tire of spinning around. There were two guinea fowl, but the dog ate one of them one Sunday during church. Which prompted the security guard to call for backup. But that is a story for another day.

Len's work here has taken him to Ethiopia, Kenya, Spain and all over Tanzania, and he goes to Malawi next week. Please pray for his travels, and we continue to covet your prayers as we continue to learn and follow God's ministry here!

Marine Nature Day

Field Trip! Over the school break, we had Marine Nature Day in Zanzibar.

God's creativity was on display for sure! We paid a local fisherman $20 and took a wooden dhow boat out to a reef off the southeastern coast.

After walking over a kilometer out to the boat at low tide, where we saw a patch of actual quicksand (nobody was lost, thank goodness!),

we met the boat, which was then pushed with long wooden poles by the captain and crew of one until they finally put up the sail and we sped out to the reef.

Look closely at the sail. It's made largely of old grain bags and even some plastic sheeting:

The kids had a great time and the fishermen found all kinds of neat sea life to show them:

While I was busy getting stung by a sea anemone, Henry tried on Len's mask.

You should know that the sting from a sea anemone doesn't go away quickly...almost three weeks later, I'm beginning to wonder if the red splotches on my calf are permanent? Note to self: try not-so-low tide next time.

Anyway, then we all walked around on some exposed rock at low tide, about 2 km out into the ocean, and saw amazing things:

A rainbow of starfish: Blue ones,

bronze with black lace,

Cool brown patterns with a bright orangey-red center. Note the many crabs and other sea creatures in these photos! They are all taken in tidal pools we saw on the rocks.

Ruby's favorite creatures were pink, and we saw many corals, fish, crabs and shells that fit her specifications:

Don't forget lavender! That's fancy for light purple if you have a six year old girl.

We found a cool cushion starfish (on the left, by Ruby's foot) and several grey starfish. I'm not sure why they're called grey starfish since the real attractions are the neon red knobs all over them.

A beautiful, living shell in glorious technicolor:

Can you find a dozen crabs in this photo?

A sea urchin at low tide - the spikes are held on by a shock-cord-like tendon:

This was the coolest crab I've ever seen. Haven't been able to identify it...its eyes were like tie-dyed red, green and black disks, and there were some kind of mollusks growing all over it, giving it the appearance of patchwork. I'm not sure what was going on with it. Maybe it was diseased and being eaten by the disks. Maybe they were UFO's and I narrowly missed being earthling-napped. I just know this was the coolest looking animal I've ever seen.

Finally, this little guy deserves an honorable mention for persisting in trying to eat my foot.

The kids helped me identify all the photos we took of our marine life nature walk, then we wrapped up the day with a good bedtime story and sweet dreams....



Homeschooling!

It's no secret - we're doing it!

In 2006, our daughter still in diapers, Len and I talked about our ideal school for her. Mind you, this was before her regression, before special needs and therapies were in our vocabulary. It was certainly before we moved to the other side of the world.

The ideal education we envisioned was individualized, had a small student-to-teacher ratio, focused on child training and character development and biblical worldview. It was creative and flexible and allowed our child to progress at her own pace without being labeled in any direction. Family was the foundation for learning and education was a lifestyle.

This education was a lifestyle. It valued critical thinking and logic over standardized tests. Other than one school we knew of with a record of delivering most of these, we knew that homeschooling was the most likely route to achieve such goals.

However, fear set in. Fear of failure as a parent. Fear that I wasn't equipped to deal with Ruby's speech, OT and other needs. Fear that she would rebel and not want to learn from me.

What I had forgotten is that fear is a terrible reason to do just about anything.

When we realized we were moving to Africa, the fear won out. While I had done quite a bit of research in preparation to homeschool, it was put aside and we made the decision to enroll Ruby in the local mission school in Dar. An excellent school, it gave us a feeling of having one less transition to consider in our transcontinental move. I had heard from other parents who tried homeschooling overseas and hated it. But they were looking at it as something they had to do. This is something we are choosing to do. In fact, it is something I feel privileged to do and am downright giddy about.

Fear, you have no place in this home!

I'm thankful for this year at the school. We'll treasure many special moments. We've become involved and will continue to be involved with that community. It just isn't the right fit for our daughter. We've been here long enough to knock fear down and trust God to equip us for this call. We don't expect it to be easy; we absolutely expect it to make us stronger as disciples and as a family.

We're embracing this opportunity to make our fantasy education for Ruby come true. As her mother, I can tell you that nobody in the world, even the great teachers at HOPAC, are more committed to her success than I am. Well, maybe Len. We are in this together. Pamoja, pamoja.

I look forward to telling you more about our portable, personal educational adventure as it unfolds!

A Funny Day in Zanzibar



Mangrove Swamp at Jozani Rainforest

 Easter break brought the opportunity for us to go someplace as a family. We had looked at a couple of longer trips, but cost and time led us to good ol' Zanzibar. For less than you will likely pay for gasoline this month, we were able to visit this little piece of paradise for a few days:

This Grey Heron was HUGE. It stood almost four feet tall. I kept creeping closer to it for a better shot, but I have to admit that when this bad boy looked me in the eye, I backed off.

I was at the Indianapolis Prize dinner a few years back when George Archibald won for his work with Whooping Cranes. His work is really amazing. I imagined my story going more like this: "American woman accidently massacres Grey Herons feeding in natural habitat, as she moves in for photo op." Or, "Indiana woman killed by Grey Heron off coast of Africa." Not what I want to be remembered for.

Later the first day, we went on a little excursion to the Jozani Forest, home to the only Red Colubus Monkeys in the world. As far as they know. I had brought the kids here last year when we had a guest and Len was out of town, and was quite relieved to find the monkeys were not as aggressive this time.

Oh wait, that is my family.

A sweet mama monkey nursing her little one:

After the walk through the forest and Mangrove Swamp, which is amazingly set partially in salt water and partially in freshwater (SO glad God has that figured out), we were back to the room and sat outside the restaurant while waiting for dinner. Simple. Serene. Wonderful.

Who knew we were beach people? It would be against common sense to NOT enjoy the beauty of the ocean while we live so close to it here.

The Book of Faith Project

Tell the youth leader in your life about this!

Over the last year, I've been reflecting on my years in youth ministry up to this point. What was good? What was useful? What would I change?

One thing I would add is a more time connecting young people in the church with older ones. Becoming a catalyst for stories of faith being passed down from generation to generation, in a way that is meaningful and memorable for all.

It is my deep desire that we live out Deuteronomy chapter six, verses four through nine:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Our sending church, Center UMC, is blessed with Cheryl Adamson, an amazing youth leader who wholeheartedly desires this for each and every family there. And this little paragraph has no other purpose than to state that. :)

This project is for Cheryl and everyone else who loves Jesus and loves young people.

The Book of Faith

The Book of Faith is a collection of stories of faith, collected by and passed down to young people from their elders. The stories may be first person or told about someone else, but you must adhere to a few guidelines:

1. Stories must be true. It may be tempting to embellish a story to make God or Aunt Floyd look a little better; please resist. God doesn't need your help and Aunt Floyd would want you to tell the truth.
2. One point per story: God's faithfulness.
3. Only one story per entry - if you have a story with two main points, break them out into two stories.
4. Keep stories short. One typewritten page (after editing) should be enough to tell most stories.
5. Include a scripture reference with each story. This will help keep you on task.
6. Stories may be edited for readability. However, cross-check with another person to be sure the facts of the story remain.

You may approach a story in several different ways, keeping the focus on God's faithfulness:

• How God answered prayer
• God's faithfulness in a particular situation in someone's life
• Someone stepping out in faith to God's call, and how it went
• A person responding to God in faith, and how God was proven faithful

Read Hebrews 11 for several excellent examples of stories of faith.

Students should present the project to the church and include a timeframe of when the stories are to be completed, and when they hope to have them edited and ready for publication for the church.

Students should then actively seek out at least one story FROM EVERY SINGLE ADULT CHRISTIAN IN THE CHURCH. Yes, that's right! In fact, I believe we should have a new story of God's faithfulness each and every day. But that's another day's post. If we really believe God's mercies are new each day, we should be able to tell about them. Try to include everyone in this. Take careful notes and record the stories, or let people submit written stories.

Next, edit the stories. You may be surprised to find several experts in this field right in your own congregation. Edit for readability and length, and to keep the focus on God's faithfulness.

Finally, publish and distribute the finished stories. This might include creating a website, making two-sided copies in a binder, making a photobook, or self-publishing (there are several excellent self-publishing sites online). It can be as inexpensive or not as you wish. The important thing is to get people thinking about God's faithfulness and passing on those stories!

Henry, On His Birthday Morning

Rare is the morning that the sun greets us before Henry. We have grown used to his climbing into bed with us; we often don't even remember him slipping in between us. If he comes asking for someone to play with him, we gently remind him that night-time is for sleeping, and he may climb into our bed or go back to his own.

Saturday, however, he wanted to stand by our bedroom window and wait for the sun to rise. Dreams of his birthday still fresh in his mind, he wanted to be there for the very first bit of light. I had to admire his enthusiasm.

So he stood there for a minute, looking through the iron grate on the window to the starry sky. Then he turned into the mosquito net and asked, "Is it morningtime yet?"

"Not yet," I whispered, "Come back to bed."

"I want to wait for it, Mom."

And so we waited, repeating the dialogue a few more times.

Then: "Mom, what if the sun is gone? What if someone threw a rock at it and it fell down?"

I thought about this a moment. Was it really a good time to tell my four year old that if the sun fell down we would freeze to death in minutes? Should I use the opportunity to reinforce why we don't throw rocks randomly into the air?

"Henry, that is called faith. Believing what we can't see. Do you think the sun is going to come up today?"

He thought about his for a long minute. "Yes."

"Then you have faith that God will make the sun rise today."

Another long pause.

"Oh. Okay, Mom."

I am happy to say the sun did rise on the fourth anniversary of Henry's birth. Thankfully less than an hour after this conversation. He is a joy to parent and we are thankful each day that God has trusted us with him!

Keep having faith, Henry. May you always ask good questions and always believe in the goodness of God, who created you and the sun and the stars.

More on Henry's Birthday Week after it's over tomorrow. :)